Eight Ways to Deal With Today's Chaotic World

Last week was awful.  Threats, anger, fear, confusion.  Leaders making terrifying statements. The news in disagreement as to whether we should be very afraid or shrug and go back to watching TV.  Then Charlottesville. A horrifying display of the lowest humans have to offer.  Racism – so ugly. So detestable.  I thought maybe we had gotten past the worst of this in the 60’s. The 1960’s and the 1860’s.  And as I watched the ugliness transpire on the news, I felt totally powerless over this resurgence of White Supremacy.  I also feel powerless that nuclear war has become a real possibility again.  Thought we had moved mostly past that, too.  

I am not so naïve that I didn’t know that all this stuff was bubbling underneath the surface of our country and the world.  The severe partisanship of the past decade or two has made that clear.  But here is my problem. I don’t want to hate. ANYONE.  I can hate ideas that I find abhorrent.  I can hate behavior. But people. I don’t want to hate people.  I believe in free speech – even if it expresses ideas that are revolting.  But violence. No.  Not how we do it here in this country.  Well, at least, not how we should be doing things.  And advocating violence against others because of their race, religion or choices – No.  There have been too many voices out there suggesting violent solutions as good options.  So I find myself deeply concerned and disturbed at what seems to be happening.  So what can I do? Realistically. Rationally.  This is my list of how to deal with this current environment of chaos:

1.     Prayer – I have to start here.  I can pray.  Pray for those that are angry, for those that are hurting. I can pray for those who feel marginalized and left out. I can pray for the families of those that have died or were wounded.  I can pray for our leaders. Prayer calms me down. It helps focus me on what the problems might be.

2.     I can give – Money, time, and effort to groups that promote peace. To groups that help others.

3.     I can speak peace - I can speak kindness.  I can use words intelligently when I am on social media.  I am sorry to say that I have seen far too many people I know saying the most horrific things to each other. It saddens me deeply. Anger, fear, dissension gets us nowhere. It creates a bigger divide. 

4.     I can listen – to everyone. This is really hard. But if we don’t hear what others are saying, we can’t begin to have a real conversation. Some people are coming from a very dark place.  But not everyone is. Some people don’t know what to think and are easily led. Some are afraid and confused and want their world to be different, so they strike out at who they think is causing the problem.  The media sadly, feeds into people’s fears on BOTH sides.

5.     I can get involved – in positive ways. Peaceful protests are fine. But volunteering to help the causes that will ease suffering can go a long way.

6.     I can learn – about the issues.  I can learn for myself from a variety of sources about the problems with healthcare, about the underlying issues with China or North Korea.  This involves more than just watching one news program or reading only articles that support my view.

7.      I can be a better person – in my own sphere of influence.  I can listen, speak peace, give time and support to my own family, or to my children’s school, at my church, or work.   At my water aerobics class the other day, a woman was saying how Christians were responsible for all this.  We are friends and I gently reminded her that I am a Christian and many of us know that our first and foremost job is to LOVE and care for each other.

8.     And finally I can put myself on a news-diet – I can turn off the TV, the computer and the iPhone. Not forever. Just for a few hours everyday.  I could spend the time being creative, walking the dog, reading a book, and sitting outside. I could focus on what is right with our country and my life.  The news will still be there screaming “Be very afraid.” And I can tune back in whenever I want.  Lately, I have been trying to limit myself to only one hour a day of dreadful news.  I am not always successful. But on the days I spend less time watching or reading about the latest outrage from Twitter, I really do feel better.

I know this is a gentle list. I know that it won’t solve the North Korean crisis.  I know that there will still be prejudice and anger and confusion.  But the world is made up of individuals… we each contribute to the whole.  I know I could be kinder and gentler. I could be more loving. I know that I can at least try to be a voice of peace and calm. Maybe you could try, too.  Maybe we could all breathe deeply, and take a collective step back from the brink.  It’s not too late.

Five Things I've Learned From My Grandfather Clock

I inherited a wonderful grandfather clock a couple of years ago. It is more than 200 years old and has been in our family for at least a hundred of those years. I have loved this clock since I was 7. It stood in my Great Aunt’s huge Terra-like home in Beaumont, Texas. She had gotten it in England and had it shipped duty free in the early 1900’s.

When I first met the clock, it wasn’t running. I asked Auntie why she didn’t fix it  - she said it felt like it was ticking her life away.  So the clock stood silently for another 60 years. It moved to my grandmother’s house, then my mother’s house in Georgetown, Texas. It took a long trip to Tucson, Arizona when my parents moved there. And it finally traveled in the back of a U-Haul to my home in Oxnard, CA.

An antiques dealer laughed at its disrepair. She said it was essentially worthless.  But it wasn’t worthless to me.  I wanted it to live again. So I searched for someone who could fix antique clocks. I basically heard from everyone – it’s a piece of firewood.  Then I came across a 3^rd generation clock guy.  He came out, took it apart and announced it still had all its necessary parts to run. It would need a pendulum, some weights and some cleaning of the 200 year old dust, but he was up to the challenge.  Six weeks later, just in time for Christmas, he brought it back.  He had touched up some of the places where the veneer had come off and he had gently cleaned the case and mended the foot. He set it up in my front hall, wound it and the grandfather clock was alive again!

It now stands in my hallway joyfully ringing every hour on the hour and it means the world to me.

I learned a lot from this experience. Here are the top five bits of wisdom this clock has given me:

1.     You are never too old to start over – Our world would have us believe that only young people have all the viable ideas and creativity. Hollywood learned after a lawsuit that people with age and experience still have stories to tell and the ability to tell them. Businesses let senior level people go because they are expensive, only to discover they just lost a knowledge base that was crucial. I think its important to recognize that there is always something you can do or try your hand at.  Never let someone tell you that you are too old for what you want to do.

2.     Your worth is not based on what others say about you – This is a lesson that everyone at every age needs to learn again and again.  If you based your value on what other people think, then you will have an ever-shifting sense of yourself. Everyone is valuable and loved by God. Believe that, because it is true. And live your life knowing you are loved and you have value.

3.     Life is a journey, embrace each season – You will experience different seasons of life. Nothing stays the same forever.  School. Work. Marriage. Children. Grandparenting. Retirement. End of life. Each time period carries with it unique requirements and issues. Raising a baby is different from raising a teenager. School is different from the working world.  Be adaptable. Its ok if you are confused when you are transitioning between seasons. Just about the time you get comfortable in your current season, the next one will arrive.

4.     Love and determination can overcome any obstacle – This is a bold statement.  But if you are determined to succeed at something and if you truly love what you are doing, you will wear down the opposition. Keep searching. Keep trying. Don’t give up.

5.     Age can be beautiful – Someone asked me if I wanted my clock to be completely refurbished to look brand new again. I was horrified. No!!! This beautiful clock has been around almost as long as this country. The weathering of those years makes it more beautiful to me.  The Grand Canyon’s age is what makes it grand; otherwise it would just be a meandering river. Youth is lovely, pretty, innocent. A life well lived is magnificent!

I treasure my clock. It is a daily reminder of the long line of wonderful women I am related to.  It connects me to the past even while the pendulum moves time into the future.  I don’t see the clock as “ticking my life away.” Instead, I see it as my clockmaker described it, “The heartbeat of my home.”

It's About Time

I love time travel movies.  Back to the Future is of course a favorite! It's odd to think that I am now living in 2017 which is two years after the future imagined in the late 80's film. Another fun fact: The street I live on was used in the original movie for the shot of the Delorean taking off into the mysteries of the future.  More recently, Insterstellar overwhelmed me with its amazing ideas of  time and space and love.  A lovely little romantic movie starring Rachel McAdams called About Time really touched me with its theme of being able to go back in time to manipulate events in the recent past.

Who doesn't think about the possibility of a do-over? Or what would have happened if? The further I advance in life, the more I can see how my decisions and choices affected my current situation.  But lingering on the wisha-shoulda-coulda's of my life is really a pointless exercise in futility.  Oh, if only I hadn't eaten all those McFlurries and spent all my money on cat toys. Perhaps you wonder what would have happened if you had or hadn't married that person, or if you had only given or not given him/her your phone number. If you had taken the job in Hong Kong or hadn't taken the job in South Dakota. If only you had majored in Medicine instead of Home Ec.

My oldest daughter died about a year and a half ago. About 40 years too soon. When I first wrestled with the grief of losing her, my brain wanted to travel down the wisha-shoulda-coulda lane.  Oh, I wanted to go there. I wanted to swim among all the if-onlies. But while I was weeping and praying one day, a Still, Small, Voice told me to not to go there. But, God, I argued why shouldn't I go there? And He quietly asked me what good would it do. Would it change what is? And sadly, I knew it wouldn't.  Nothing I could have done or should have done could bring her back.  Time only moves forward in the real world.

And so forward we have have to keep going. We aren't going to get a do-over. No matter how much we want one. But we can get a Do-Something-New.

Life is about time. I have gone from I don't have time to I hope I have enough time. I have mentioned before I was a 100 mile an hour person. Mercifully time has slowed down, even as my hurtling toward eternity has sped up. Now, I get to take more time doing those things, I used to think I didn't have time for.

So what to do about this time problem? Do it now. If there is something you always wanted to do, some place you long to go, do it now. Make a plan. Strategize. Take baby steps. It's not over till it's over.  You are not too old to pursue a new dream or even the same dream.  Famous folk artist Grandma Moses painted her first painting when she was 76. Col. Sanders started his chicken franchise when he was 65. Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote her first novel when she was 65. Fauja Singh who is 101 holds the world record for being the oldest marathon runner. I'm just sayin'.

And it's never too late to be kind, to be loving. It's not too late spend time with your children, grand children, your spouse, your parents.  It's not too late to tell someone how much you love them, appreciate them. How much they have helped you, encouraged you, meant to you. It's not too late. There is still time. Even if you suffer from an illness, or debilitating injury you can pray, console, encourage, amuse, teach and inspire.

There is a very elderly lady that I see at the Y all the time. I'll call her Sarah and I understand that she is in her late 90's. She has an electric wheelchair and takes the para-transport to and from her water exercise class.  I am amazed and inspired by Sarah and people like her.  Her age and her disability have not stopped her from living her life and living it to the best of her ability. Wow. I force my entire household to wait on me hand and foot and complain that my motorized reclining couch is not quite comfortable enough.  Sarah, just by being who she is, gets me off the couch.  If Sarah at her age  can live with her major physical problems, so can I keep going with my much more insignificant issues.

So maybe it is time to strap on those Nike's and Just Do It.

Do it. Don't you think its about time?

We All have to Start Somewhere

My daughter’s friend gave her a baby redwood tree. It is about two feet tall and sitting in a large pot out in the shade of our front porch. Redwoods and Sequoia’s grow to be about 300 feet tall and the largest one is about 100 feet in circumference.  Yikes... But today this little tree is content to live in a large pot.  He is just beginning his life.  The largest Sequoia is said to weigh more than a million tons and is 2100 years old. That dates back to the time of Jesus. These plants are the oldest and biggest known living organisms on the planet.  A pretty impressive heritage for our little treelet. He has a long way to go. 

We all have to start somewhere. I started having back trouble a couple of years ago and it makes it hard for me to walk any real distance. The pain actually limits me in many ways. My mother who lived a long and healthy life used to tell me to try water aerobics.  I felt like that was an exercise for old people. And then one day while looking in the mirror I had to finally admit...oh, yeah... I am one of those “old” people. So I dragged myself to the YMCA the other day for my first water class... a lovely group of happy, healthy, and admittedly older people were there cheerfully enjoying the water and the exercise. A beautiful white haired woman who looked to be 90 gave me a dazzling smile and welcomed me. The class began... by 15 minutes in I was afraid I wouldn’t make it. 90 year olds were going to out do me. I hung in and I found myself enjoying the weightlessness of the water. I was walking again with no pain. It was exhilarating. 

I think we can learn that from a  redwood tree and from water aerobics. Our lives are so filled with instant gratification. From remote controls for our TV’S, to cell phones that give us games, news, friends with the touch of a button, we come to expect everything to happen immediately with little effort. Redwoods probably chuckle (to themselves) about our frenetic paced lives. They will be around long after we have burnt through our life spans and they still will be watching the sun rise and set, and the seasons change. They are not worried about elections, or violence or breaking news.  They just grow. They provide shade, shelter and food for other species. And they keep on growing as the animals come and go, as the storms rage and subside. They grow through snow, and heat. Their root system connects to their fellow trees. Together they hold themselves up through wind and rain. 

But they started small and kept at it. And they help each other and all those that  sit in their shade. 

In Matthew 6:28 Jesus says: Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin;  and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 

So today as I take another small step toward a healthier life,  I think I will consider the redwoods and have faith that God will give me the strength to keep at it. To grow and keep growing.